After two years of pain and sufferance the battle is over.
Dad past on September the 30th 2012 after a 13 hours agony.
I made it to the funeral.
I hope he is now in a better place. Dad I miss you, I will always do.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Back to square 1 - new surgery required after one year..
I haven't been here for a while.. Meanwhile my father finished one year of chemo.
I went to see him in August. He looked good considering.. I had a great week of vacation with him and with my family.
We recently learned the cancer is back and it is strong. It looks it extended towards the left side of the brain as well.
We consulted more than one specialist. He requires a new surgery.. We told him about that today.
He said he will go ahead with the surgery but only in Romania (not in Hungary) and only after the Holidays..
the chemo treatment will include this time a drug called avistan which although effective for few months is very expensive, even worse than the temodal was..
We are all overwhelmed and of course very upset..
I did not yet recover from the shock of the last year surgery, and now this... I am not sure how I am going to get through this again..I am not sure how my whole family will get through this again..
Cancer sucks.
I went to see him in August. He looked good considering.. I had a great week of vacation with him and with my family.
We recently learned the cancer is back and it is strong. It looks it extended towards the left side of the brain as well.
We consulted more than one specialist. He requires a new surgery.. We told him about that today.
He said he will go ahead with the surgery but only in Romania (not in Hungary) and only after the Holidays..
the chemo treatment will include this time a drug called avistan which although effective for few months is very expensive, even worse than the temodal was..
We are all overwhelmed and of course very upset..
I did not yet recover from the shock of the last year surgery, and now this... I am not sure how I am going to get through this again..I am not sure how my whole family will get through this again..
Cancer sucks.
Monday, March 21, 2011
New chemo
I spoke with my father last week. He was having a cold (again) but he was OK, as much he could be.
Roxana brought them the baby, and dad was suddenly younger. His voice sounded young.
Magda told me that we are to fix his kidneys deficiency. He always had a kidneys problem but never really bother to fix. Today he started again chemo. One more month to go and then back to Debrecen he goes for follow up.
I noticed that he was in good spirit lately. I am not sure if is a permanent thing or just a phase.
I just realised that my parents do not know to function as a couple anymore. Is not the cancer that drives them crazy, but themselves, each other. They always had children around, grand children, etc. They only have been together as a couple without children, briefly before I come around..So that is why is so difficult now...
I succeeded to make them say I love you every time we finish a phone conversation. Isn't this something? They never say it in my family, they feel is wrong to do it...but now finally they say it to me. I am not sure if they will ever say it to my sisters, I think they will find that weird..
Anyway, I very much I love you too mom and dad.
Roxana brought them the baby, and dad was suddenly younger. His voice sounded young.
Magda told me that we are to fix his kidneys deficiency. He always had a kidneys problem but never really bother to fix. Today he started again chemo. One more month to go and then back to Debrecen he goes for follow up.
I noticed that he was in good spirit lately. I am not sure if is a permanent thing or just a phase.
I just realised that my parents do not know to function as a couple anymore. Is not the cancer that drives them crazy, but themselves, each other. They always had children around, grand children, etc. They only have been together as a couple without children, briefly before I come around..So that is why is so difficult now...
I succeeded to make them say I love you every time we finish a phone conversation. Isn't this something? They never say it in my family, they feel is wrong to do it...but now finally they say it to me. I am not sure if they will ever say it to my sisters, I think they will find that weird..
Anyway, I very much I love you too mom and dad.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The follow up with the Hungarian doctor
This week my parents went to Hungary for a follow up check up.
It appears that on my father's brain there are two signs that could be either scars from the prior surgery or two roots of two new tumours.
The doctor said that is to soon for him to tell that father is entirely cancer free. He gave my father two more sessions of chemo, and he is expecting my father back the end of April.
My father still believes that all this was just a doctor "mambo-jumbo" and that he was (Imagine) healthy before the surgery and he never had cancer..So he is still in denial. I am not expecting him to embrace cancer but I hoped he will be reasonable about it. But he is not. Although he should not drive any longer he wants to go by himself in Hungary in April. If you try to talk him out he will be very depressed thinking that we are treating him this way because we do not consider him normal due to his brain surgery (which he should never had done in his opinion).
Mom is very tired of all this, dad is very difficult to live with lately.
Life goes on, we are happy for now, and for this second we will hope that dad will be himself again.
It appears that on my father's brain there are two signs that could be either scars from the prior surgery or two roots of two new tumours.
The doctor said that is to soon for him to tell that father is entirely cancer free. He gave my father two more sessions of chemo, and he is expecting my father back the end of April.
My father still believes that all this was just a doctor "mambo-jumbo" and that he was (Imagine) healthy before the surgery and he never had cancer..So he is still in denial. I am not expecting him to embrace cancer but I hoped he will be reasonable about it. But he is not. Although he should not drive any longer he wants to go by himself in Hungary in April. If you try to talk him out he will be very depressed thinking that we are treating him this way because we do not consider him normal due to his brain surgery (which he should never had done in his opinion).
Mom is very tired of all this, dad is very difficult to live with lately.
Life goes on, we are happy for now, and for this second we will hope that dad will be himself again.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The first signs of chemo's second effects
This week is the forth phase of chemo.
My father started to feel sick from his stomach and he started vomiting. He also refuses to eat meat and he become very picky in choosing what he wants or can eat. He does not want to move, he feels weak and all he wants is to stay in bed. I told to my mother that she needs to force him to get up because this is the beginning of the end if she does not. Next week or so he will have an MRI done, and then on the 9th of March they will go to Hungary to see the doctor. The month of March is a make it or break it month.
The other thing that worries me is that he also has a lung fibrosis which in Romania is not really seen as a big deal illness but when I looked it up on internet I discovered that the odds of life with that illness are 5 years.
I am a positive person in general but I do not know anymore. Mom is down, she cannot take it anymore, dad is very difficult and he is more and more like a child who does not listen. My father is very stubborn. He told my mom that he should have died and she will be now happy and getting over it.. Mom was devastated.
I am not sure if this is the way the people with cancer react, but he hurts mom's feelings, and he is almost mean sometimes. Very though to be around him.
Mom never leaves the house so he will not be alone. I told my sisters that she needs to go out, without him, for any reason: maybe windows shopping, anything, just for her to breathe a little.
Is that bad of me?
I had a bad flu this past week, in fact I had to stay home that bad was. At the same time my hubby Ovidiu, fell on the ice on the side of our house while preparing bbq and he broke the left side maxillary under the eye. He drove himself to emergency on Sunday morning and after 9 hours he got the news that he has 4 fractures. He was swollen, swore, and with a black eye. The good news was that he does not need surgery if he does not get an infection. Monday he got my flu, so you understand that he sneezes, coughs, and he wants to blow his nose..We have seen our doctor, he got a note to stay home and today will go to see a maxillo-facial surgeon to see if everything ok.
At the same time he got a phone call from work and he has been advised that his company does not pay sick leave. What kind of company is that, and above all how is that possible in Canada??
Anyway that is it in a nutshell.
My father started to feel sick from his stomach and he started vomiting. He also refuses to eat meat and he become very picky in choosing what he wants or can eat. He does not want to move, he feels weak and all he wants is to stay in bed. I told to my mother that she needs to force him to get up because this is the beginning of the end if she does not. Next week or so he will have an MRI done, and then on the 9th of March they will go to Hungary to see the doctor. The month of March is a make it or break it month.
The other thing that worries me is that he also has a lung fibrosis which in Romania is not really seen as a big deal illness but when I looked it up on internet I discovered that the odds of life with that illness are 5 years.
I am a positive person in general but I do not know anymore. Mom is down, she cannot take it anymore, dad is very difficult and he is more and more like a child who does not listen. My father is very stubborn. He told my mom that he should have died and she will be now happy and getting over it.. Mom was devastated.
I am not sure if this is the way the people with cancer react, but he hurts mom's feelings, and he is almost mean sometimes. Very though to be around him.
Mom never leaves the house so he will not be alone. I told my sisters that she needs to go out, without him, for any reason: maybe windows shopping, anything, just for her to breathe a little.
Is that bad of me?
I had a bad flu this past week, in fact I had to stay home that bad was. At the same time my hubby Ovidiu, fell on the ice on the side of our house while preparing bbq and he broke the left side maxillary under the eye. He drove himself to emergency on Sunday morning and after 9 hours he got the news that he has 4 fractures. He was swollen, swore, and with a black eye. The good news was that he does not need surgery if he does not get an infection. Monday he got my flu, so you understand that he sneezes, coughs, and he wants to blow his nose..We have seen our doctor, he got a note to stay home and today will go to see a maxillo-facial surgeon to see if everything ok.
At the same time he got a phone call from work and he has been advised that his company does not pay sick leave. What kind of company is that, and above all how is that possible in Canada??
Anyway that is it in a nutshell.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
What to do
Recently I have thought that I should have a vacation. I want to go again to New York , for at least just a long weekend. I haven't decided yet because I am not sure what is going to happen with my father..
I talked with Magda, my sister, and I felt selfish. She will not go in vacation until things with my father are not getting better. That means that she will sacrifice her family vacation for the greater good.
I do not know what to do.
It is wrong of me to think of a vacation?
What if something happens to my father while I am gone?
What then?
Can I just let things go?
Can I continue leaving my life as before?
And if the answer is yes, why do I feel so guilty??
I am far, I do nothing for my father and my family in general, should I go ahead with my life "business as usual"?
The other day I was telling to Ovidiu (my hubby) that I feel the need to paint again...To create something, to be someone, to make a difference..
And yet I do nothing..
My life is boring.
I have nothing to offer, I do nothing for "the greater good".
I want to volunteer to Ottawa Mission, I want to be part of the Ottawa Youth Program, and yet, I do nothing. Why is that? I am too tired? I am too busy, what in the hell am I? I am just passive and indifferent? Do I neglect my friends? Do I neglect my family? Do I neglect my father? Did I lose hope? Am I losing faith in God? Am I a bad person?
I feel like a major failure. Another low.
That says something: I either need a shrink or I need to run another 6 km tomorrow. Or maybe is just the PMS talking.
Peace out.
I talked with Magda, my sister, and I felt selfish. She will not go in vacation until things with my father are not getting better. That means that she will sacrifice her family vacation for the greater good.
I do not know what to do.
It is wrong of me to think of a vacation?
What if something happens to my father while I am gone?
What then?
Can I just let things go?
Can I continue leaving my life as before?
And if the answer is yes, why do I feel so guilty??
I am far, I do nothing for my father and my family in general, should I go ahead with my life "business as usual"?
The other day I was telling to Ovidiu (my hubby) that I feel the need to paint again...To create something, to be someone, to make a difference..
And yet I do nothing..
My life is boring.
I have nothing to offer, I do nothing for "the greater good".
I want to volunteer to Ottawa Mission, I want to be part of the Ottawa Youth Program, and yet, I do nothing. Why is that? I am too tired? I am too busy, what in the hell am I? I am just passive and indifferent? Do I neglect my friends? Do I neglect my family? Do I neglect my father? Did I lose hope? Am I losing faith in God? Am I a bad person?
I feel like a major failure. Another low.
That says something: I either need a shrink or I need to run another 6 km tomorrow. Or maybe is just the PMS talking.
Peace out.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Cancer is not easy
Is been a while since I did not write. I have not lost my interest, but rather I left the events take their course. After the first part of chemo my father got pneumonia. He was sick with high fever for two weeks until my sister Magda took father to ER. They gave him a cocktail of drugs (IV) and his fever went down. My father is feeling weak and he has heart problems now.
My mom is tired and stressed. My sister Roxy baptized her baby, Magda still did not go to see a doctor.
I have been to a doctor for my thyroid and now I am waiting for a biopsy. Mirela still is the strongest although I seem that way to them.
I haven't speak with Roxy since before the baptism when I wrote her a very honest email about how I felt about dragging my parents, especially father, to her event, in a different city when dad just finished his chemo. The thing is dad couldn't make it to the baptism because of his pneumonia.
It is still a challenge to get the treatment (the drugs) for him. Everything is a challenge nowadays. I do not get this: why no one come up with an instruction manual on how to handle a cancer ill family member?
I am seriously thinking to undergo therapy because of this experience. I even advised dad to do so. He feels that he is "normal" and he does not have "brain problems" thus he does not need therapy cause is stupid..
I can talk about myself: I am not feeling normal and I do have "problems".. since all this crazy mess started.
I called home last Wednesday. Dad was home alone. I found him crying. I asked him why he cries, he said because of this life. After an hour of talking with him I make him laugh. I always had this effect on my parents, I always have this effect on my closest friends in general. Somehow I succeed changing their channel and make them laugh. But sometimes I am crying inside, even if I let them see only happiness and silliness.
I asked my sisters to install internet to my parents house. I think it will be therapeutic for them to laugh at least once a week. With me. And of me, and because of me.
School is good, I like it and it keeps me busy.
One of my dearest friend's mom just died last week. Sudden. God rest her soul. I knew that women. She was a fantastic and great women, and she always had good words for Ovidiu and I. She had a good life, a good husband, and a good daughter. I cried and I thought of her. The kindest women ever. Rest in peace Mrs Velciu.
Peace.
My mom is tired and stressed. My sister Roxy baptized her baby, Magda still did not go to see a doctor.
I have been to a doctor for my thyroid and now I am waiting for a biopsy. Mirela still is the strongest although I seem that way to them.
I haven't speak with Roxy since before the baptism when I wrote her a very honest email about how I felt about dragging my parents, especially father, to her event, in a different city when dad just finished his chemo. The thing is dad couldn't make it to the baptism because of his pneumonia.
It is still a challenge to get the treatment (the drugs) for him. Everything is a challenge nowadays. I do not get this: why no one come up with an instruction manual on how to handle a cancer ill family member?
I am seriously thinking to undergo therapy because of this experience. I even advised dad to do so. He feels that he is "normal" and he does not have "brain problems" thus he does not need therapy cause is stupid..
I can talk about myself: I am not feeling normal and I do have "problems".. since all this crazy mess started.
I called home last Wednesday. Dad was home alone. I found him crying. I asked him why he cries, he said because of this life. After an hour of talking with him I make him laugh. I always had this effect on my parents, I always have this effect on my closest friends in general. Somehow I succeed changing their channel and make them laugh. But sometimes I am crying inside, even if I let them see only happiness and silliness.
I asked my sisters to install internet to my parents house. I think it will be therapeutic for them to laugh at least once a week. With me. And of me, and because of me.
School is good, I like it and it keeps me busy.
One of my dearest friend's mom just died last week. Sudden. God rest her soul. I knew that women. She was a fantastic and great women, and she always had good words for Ovidiu and I. She had a good life, a good husband, and a good daughter. I cried and I thought of her. The kindest women ever. Rest in peace Mrs Velciu.
Peace.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
The battle continues
The tests results this week were good. My father is well, weak and tired but overall his health is good.
I, on the other hand, I am tired and depressed.
I just found out that I have a bunch of cysts on both sides of my thyroid. One of these cysts is over 2 cm and because of that I have to see a specialist and have either a biopsy done or a CT scan. I know is nothing to be scared of because it can be treated or removed but just the simple fact that I have to go through all kind of tests is just too much for me now.
Of course I am not going to tell this to my parents to not make them worry, I am just saying.
On top of all of this, Ovi went to the dentist to fix some problems and yesterday almost had a heart attack when he received the bill...one bridge 4000 dollars which we do not have...so credit line it is..He said this was the last time in his life that he went to see a dentist...and that until all his teeth will fall off he never going to have any repair done...Sad isn't it?
I tried to make a list with what makes me happy and with what makes me unhappy. And although the things that make me happy are more numerous, the things that make me unhappy weight more.
What do I want for Christmas this year?
That is easy: I want my father to be cured, I want my family to be well, I want all my dear friends to be happy and healthy. I want all bad things to disappear.
Was I good this year? I guess I will have to wait and see.
God bless.
I, on the other hand, I am tired and depressed.
I just found out that I have a bunch of cysts on both sides of my thyroid. One of these cysts is over 2 cm and because of that I have to see a specialist and have either a biopsy done or a CT scan. I know is nothing to be scared of because it can be treated or removed but just the simple fact that I have to go through all kind of tests is just too much for me now.
Of course I am not going to tell this to my parents to not make them worry, I am just saying.
On top of all of this, Ovi went to the dentist to fix some problems and yesterday almost had a heart attack when he received the bill...one bridge 4000 dollars which we do not have...so credit line it is..He said this was the last time in his life that he went to see a dentist...and that until all his teeth will fall off he never going to have any repair done...Sad isn't it?
I tried to make a list with what makes me happy and with what makes me unhappy. And although the things that make me happy are more numerous, the things that make me unhappy weight more.
What do I want for Christmas this year?
That is easy: I want my father to be cured, I want my family to be well, I want all my dear friends to be happy and healthy. I want all bad things to disappear.
Was I good this year? I guess I will have to wait and see.
God bless.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Nearly three weeks of treatment
The treatment is going well. My father still feels fine, no major health issues. He got a cold out of nowhere and he feels tired. The treatment will end on the 3rd of January. He said that his doctor Mr Klekner is a great man, kind and knowledgeable. Father trusts his doctor. Tuesday the doctor will take another set of blood tests. The doctor thinks that father has some kind of bladder problems. I guess we will need to wait till Tuesday to see what is all about.
Mirela succeeded to buy the last 5 boxes with temodal in Pitesti my home town. Magda is going to Hungary on the 16th of December and gets back on the 17th. We do not trust the post service to send the temodal to my father by mail.
Is getting harder and harder to find this treatment, we will have to have this stress forever now. Every month is another challenge.
Mom seemed to me fine, we all know that is not true but she is a strong woman, aren't we all?
I gained weight like crazy since all this started. I eat on stress.
I still have days when I cry and I feel gray but this is not about me. Life goes on and dad is still alive, what more do I need?
Mirela succeeded to buy the last 5 boxes with temodal in Pitesti my home town. Magda is going to Hungary on the 16th of December and gets back on the 17th. We do not trust the post service to send the temodal to my father by mail.
Is getting harder and harder to find this treatment, we will have to have this stress forever now. Every month is another challenge.
Mom seemed to me fine, we all know that is not true but she is a strong woman, aren't we all?
I gained weight like crazy since all this started. I eat on stress.
I still have days when I cry and I feel gray but this is not about me. Life goes on and dad is still alive, what more do I need?
Monday, November 29, 2010
The end of the first week of treatment
I spoke with my mom on Saturday. Dad started to be depressed lately. He feels OK, however he is feeling weak. He also cannot believe that he has cancer as, according to him, he does not feel that sick...he associates this illness with being in bed and waiting to die. His brother had stomach cancer and died in exact six months. My father was devastated. His brother was only 55 when this happened.
My father said that he is like a leaf in the wind, where ever the wind blows he goes..I am not sure what is the meaning of that, but I believe that he is scared.
Tomorrow he will have all blood tests done and we will see if the level of his blood cells is lower than before starting the treatment.
The radiation will last for 42 days. So we still have 37 to go as during the weekends does not have any and he started on TTuesday last week.
In four months he needs to go back to Debrecen for an MRI to see if the brain is clear of any tumor. We will not think about that now, or at least we will try not to think of that now.
My sisters appear to be OK, not too sure about that, Magda promised me that she will go and see a doctor and have some tests done. We will see if she actually keeps this promise.
Roxana's baby is OK, he has anemia but his heart does not make funny noises anymore.
Mirela is still on a run with my father's medication.
Mom seems positive but I know she must be exhausted.
Last week, on Friday I sent the money that I received from donations, initially I wanted to send them on Thursday but I did not have the SWIFT code of the bank in Romania. It will take at least a week to get in the account.
Thank you guys again for everything.
God bless.
My father said that he is like a leaf in the wind, where ever the wind blows he goes..I am not sure what is the meaning of that, but I believe that he is scared.
Tomorrow he will have all blood tests done and we will see if the level of his blood cells is lower than before starting the treatment.
The radiation will last for 42 days. So we still have 37 to go as during the weekends does not have any and he started on TTuesday last week.
In four months he needs to go back to Debrecen for an MRI to see if the brain is clear of any tumor. We will not think about that now, or at least we will try not to think of that now.
My sisters appear to be OK, not too sure about that, Magda promised me that she will go and see a doctor and have some tests done. We will see if she actually keeps this promise.
Roxana's baby is OK, he has anemia but his heart does not make funny noises anymore.
Mirela is still on a run with my father's medication.
Mom seems positive but I know she must be exhausted.
Last week, on Friday I sent the money that I received from donations, initially I wanted to send them on Thursday but I did not have the SWIFT code of the bank in Romania. It will take at least a week to get in the account.
Thank you guys again for everything.
God bless.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Temodal - the rare and expensive pill for chemo
Since this cancer started I found out that a treatment for such a illness is extremely expensive. My sister Mirela is "in charge" with acquiring the treatment from all transactions and sources. In Romania the treatment should be purchased through "The Insurance House" which is something like our medical insurance. The only thing is that the pharmacies are not willing to provide such a treatment because they will wait forever and ever to get the money back from the "insurance house". There is the rumor saying that the state will cease financing this illness.
The people that are sick of cancer are registered and the treatment is released to them monthly. The pharmacy that Mirela ordered the treatment from - this temodal, and some other cancer pills, had to bring the treatment from all over Romania, this difficult is to find it.. So you end up paying the treatment and then pray that maybe you get some money back from the state. One pill of temodal of 100 mg is 100 Euros. This is simply stupid and insane..For starting the treatment, us the girls, we gathered the money from donations, our credit lines and our economies. The amount of money that my father receives for his retirement is around 500 Euros per month. You do the math.
I tried to find the temodal in Canada but I need a prescription from here which of course I have not.
These are the prices...are you kidding me?
Mirela said that she does not have time to worry about father being sick due to chemo and radiation, because she needs to worry about finding the treatment, purchase it and sending it to Hungary to my dad.
When father will return to Romania, he will have to continue the treatment with more milligrams (meaning 250 mg) than he takes now.
I started dealing better with the grief, however my doctor thinks that I am burnt out. The doctor asked me if I want to see a grief counselor, and she suggested some treatment for my new acquired state of mind. I said no. I will deal with this on my own terms. Magda is really down and Mirela is trying to convince her to see a counselor. Magda also said no. Roxana is stressed but she is handling well because her new born, she is focusing to something beautiful and pure which is the best therapy.
Between my night school and work, I have to figure out a solution for the future treatment of my father. I feel like a mouse on the treadmill. I do not see yet the solution, I am not in control and I am simply tired.
I just have to take one day at the time and let God do the rest.
The people that are sick of cancer are registered and the treatment is released to them monthly. The pharmacy that Mirela ordered the treatment from - this temodal, and some other cancer pills, had to bring the treatment from all over Romania, this difficult is to find it.. So you end up paying the treatment and then pray that maybe you get some money back from the state. One pill of temodal of 100 mg is 100 Euros. This is simply stupid and insane..For starting the treatment, us the girls, we gathered the money from donations, our credit lines and our economies. The amount of money that my father receives for his retirement is around 500 Euros per month. You do the math.
I tried to find the temodal in Canada but I need a prescription from here which of course I have not.
These are the prices...are you kidding me?
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| * A prescription is required for Temodal. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Mirela said that she does not have time to worry about father being sick due to chemo and radiation, because she needs to worry about finding the treatment, purchase it and sending it to Hungary to my dad.
When father will return to Romania, he will have to continue the treatment with more milligrams (meaning 250 mg) than he takes now.
I started dealing better with the grief, however my doctor thinks that I am burnt out. The doctor asked me if I want to see a grief counselor, and she suggested some treatment for my new acquired state of mind. I said no. I will deal with this on my own terms. Magda is really down and Mirela is trying to convince her to see a counselor. Magda also said no. Roxana is stressed but she is handling well because her new born, she is focusing to something beautiful and pure which is the best therapy.
Between my night school and work, I have to figure out a solution for the future treatment of my father. I feel like a mouse on the treadmill. I do not see yet the solution, I am not in control and I am simply tired.
I just have to take one day at the time and let God do the rest.
Us
This photo was taken in 2008 when I visited them for my mother's 60th birthday. It feels like 100 years ago. We were actually happy back then. All of us.
In order : mom, Geanina, Magda, Mirela, Roxana and dad.
In order : mom, Geanina, Magda, Mirela, Roxana and dad.
First day of radiation therapy and chemo in Debrecen
My father started the treatment. Yesterday he started chemo. Originally he should have started the radiation same day however the technician thought that he needs a second simulation.
Today he went and had a second simulation, it appears that it was good in the first place. There is a mask that he needs to wear every treatment which is strapped around the neck, back of head, etc .
Yesterday the technician strapped him too tight around the neck and because of that father swallowed too often. As a result the mask had a small deviation from where it supposed to be placed for the beam of radiations. This mask has also a hole on exact spot where the tumor used to be, so the radiation will hit only that portion of the brain leaving the rest of it intact.
Today everything went well. He did not have any pain nor nausea caused by the treatment. It looks too good to be true, but we are positive and we are continuing this journey.
Mom is positive as well, the anxiety of being by themselves in a foreign country started to dissipate.
They met there several other Romanian patients mostly from Transylvania. They heard other people cancer stories and they started to get their hope back.
Next week on Tuesday father will have blood tests done as part of the follow up of the first week of treatment.
I still have that knot in my stomach that it does not seem to disappear. I wonder why.
As for my funds raising, it went very well. Thank you everybody who contributed to this. Words cannot begin to describe how grateful I feel.
I have some pics that my sister Magda took when she left my parents in Debrecen.
It looks nice, but of course my parents do not seem to be aware of how nice are the surroundings. Probably they are still scared.
Today he went and had a second simulation, it appears that it was good in the first place. There is a mask that he needs to wear every treatment which is strapped around the neck, back of head, etc .
Yesterday the technician strapped him too tight around the neck and because of that father swallowed too often. As a result the mask had a small deviation from where it supposed to be placed for the beam of radiations. This mask has also a hole on exact spot where the tumor used to be, so the radiation will hit only that portion of the brain leaving the rest of it intact.
Today everything went well. He did not have any pain nor nausea caused by the treatment. It looks too good to be true, but we are positive and we are continuing this journey.
Mom is positive as well, the anxiety of being by themselves in a foreign country started to dissipate.
They met there several other Romanian patients mostly from Transylvania. They heard other people cancer stories and they started to get their hope back.
Next week on Tuesday father will have blood tests done as part of the follow up of the first week of treatment.
I still have that knot in my stomach that it does not seem to disappear. I wonder why.
As for my funds raising, it went very well. Thank you everybody who contributed to this. Words cannot begin to describe how grateful I feel.
I have some pics that my sister Magda took when she left my parents in Debrecen.
It looks nice, but of course my parents do not seem to be aware of how nice are the surroundings. Probably they are still scared.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
First day of my father in Hungary - Debrecen
Today was the simulation day for the radiations. I did not know that there is such a thing, however it appears that he needs this thing before starting the real treatment. There is a Romanian nurse that will perform the radiation therapy and this is a bonus.
I do not have any updates on his state of mind, however we all hope that he will be strong and brave to go ahead with the treatment. Brain cancer is not an easy situation to find yourself in, it is actually horrible but that is life. You cannot have it all.
I will post any new info on his health, hopefully I will get some updates every day.
I do not have any updates on his state of mind, however we all hope that he will be strong and brave to go ahead with the treatment. Brain cancer is not an easy situation to find yourself in, it is actually horrible but that is life. You cannot have it all.
I will post any new info on his health, hopefully I will get some updates every day.
The sales day
Today was a grand day in terms of sells. Yes the penguins cards sold like crazy, the beaded trees, the Christmas trees as well.
I want to thank everybody who bought the Christmas decorations, paintings and cards, I deeply appreciate your support.
Special thanks to Roxane and Laura for the help with the sales.
Thank you for everything. God bless.
Monday, November 15, 2010
The sale - come and support my cause
The pieces that we created this past weekend will be sold at the Craft Sale organized on the 18th of November at Statistics Canada, building Jean Talon. All the money raised by selling them will go to my father's treatment against cancer. I want to invite everyone to come and see them. I will also have the paintings with me as well as some beautiful hand made cards.
I want to tell you that I have been touched by the angels this past weekend, they DO exist and they are among us.
Thank you girls for helping me and thank you my friends from my first place of work in Canada (I am not sure if I can say the name without being accused of making advertising, can I?) your donations were amazing and the gesture absolutely angelic. Not only that you are great professionals you also are an example for any other human being.
Thank you Arlene, Sylviane, Lynne, Duneshka, Esther, Karen, Lorelai and Cristina. Your work this weekend was lovely. I love you all. I may have been tough on you and sometimes transparent but is me Geanina...the detail freak..Sorry lovelies, you are the best!
Thank you Laura for going through the "pain" with the craft paper and the decoupage of the penguins for my cards..
Next step is the sale and I hope everything will go well. I will keep you updated.
God bless!
I want to tell you that I have been touched by the angels this past weekend, they DO exist and they are among us.
Thank you girls for helping me and thank you my friends from my first place of work in Canada (I am not sure if I can say the name without being accused of making advertising, can I?) your donations were amazing and the gesture absolutely angelic. Not only that you are great professionals you also are an example for any other human being.
Thank you Arlene, Sylviane, Lynne, Duneshka, Esther, Karen, Lorelai and Cristina. Your work this weekend was lovely. I love you all. I may have been tough on you and sometimes transparent but is me Geanina...the detail freak..Sorry lovelies, you are the best!
Thank you Laura for going through the "pain" with the craft paper and the decoupage of the penguins for my cards..
Next step is the sale and I hope everything will go well. I will keep you updated.
God bless!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Status update
My parents went this week to Debrecen - Hungary. They are already on their way back home. They will go back however for the treatment.My father was told by the doctors that he has cancer and that he may live from two to five years if the treatment goes well. While us the girls were happy hearing this news, for him this was a death sentence. I wonder what does he feels, what is he thinking when trying to fall asleep..I wonder if he still has broken dreams and unfinished business, I wonder if he is angry at his fate. I wonder if he is scared..
The treatment starts next week on the 18th of November. My mom will accompany him and together will be in Debrecen for six weeks, alone by themselves for the first time in the past 43 years. This will be their first Christmas without any of their children, grand-children or friends, away from home in a place where no-one speaks their language. I wonder how they must feel because I know exactly how it feels..
I was one time in line to buy a coffee from the heart Institute. While waiting I was listening a conversation between two men. I heard that one of the patients that supposed to have a heart transplant that morning, decided to call it quits while on the surgery table and exactly before he was about to be operated.
If you were to have the choice of getting a new heart and have 50-50 chances of living or dying same day, what would you choose? The 50-50 chances or the status quo for few other months? Will you take the chance of having a life full of new experiences or to die on the spot, or would you build memories with your family and wait to die in few months. Think about it. Every healthy person will tell you that they will chose the 50-50. Every ill person will tell you that they will just live those few months left to live. My point is that you do not really know how it feels to take such a decision until it happens to you.
The cost of the treatment so far is around 6000 euros of which 1000 is the rental in the Campus area, 1000 is the radiation treatment, 3500 is the cost of the drugs for chemo and the rest is any additional test that he may get while in treatment.
Saturday I am holding a craft workshop at my place where 10 beautiful women will help me produce Christmas decorations and center pieces for my craft sale on the 18 of November. And although the reason of this get together is a sad one, the fact that we get to do something so great and beautiful it makes the reunion joyful and exciting.
Thank you to all my friends for support, it is a time of grief and need, but is a time of hope and human cohesion.
I will keep you updated with my father's health status throughout the treatment. I will call them tomorrow to hear my father and his feed back.
God bless.
The treatment starts next week on the 18th of November. My mom will accompany him and together will be in Debrecen for six weeks, alone by themselves for the first time in the past 43 years. This will be their first Christmas without any of their children, grand-children or friends, away from home in a place where no-one speaks their language. I wonder how they must feel because I know exactly how it feels..
I was one time in line to buy a coffee from the heart Institute. While waiting I was listening a conversation between two men. I heard that one of the patients that supposed to have a heart transplant that morning, decided to call it quits while on the surgery table and exactly before he was about to be operated.
If you were to have the choice of getting a new heart and have 50-50 chances of living or dying same day, what would you choose? The 50-50 chances or the status quo for few other months? Will you take the chance of having a life full of new experiences or to die on the spot, or would you build memories with your family and wait to die in few months. Think about it. Every healthy person will tell you that they will chose the 50-50. Every ill person will tell you that they will just live those few months left to live. My point is that you do not really know how it feels to take such a decision until it happens to you.
The cost of the treatment so far is around 6000 euros of which 1000 is the rental in the Campus area, 1000 is the radiation treatment, 3500 is the cost of the drugs for chemo and the rest is any additional test that he may get while in treatment.
Saturday I am holding a craft workshop at my place where 10 beautiful women will help me produce Christmas decorations and center pieces for my craft sale on the 18 of November. And although the reason of this get together is a sad one, the fact that we get to do something so great and beautiful it makes the reunion joyful and exciting.
Thank you to all my friends for support, it is a time of grief and need, but is a time of hope and human cohesion.
I will keep you updated with my father's health status throughout the treatment. I will call them tomorrow to hear my father and his feed back.
God bless.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Father decided to go to Debrecen - Hungary
The latest news, that I got only few hours ago, is that Magda and Mirela explained to our father the choices that he has in terms of the treatment. He was a little upset when they got to his place, saying that he does not appreciate the fact that they are taking decisions for him and that they are forcing him to go to Cluj (the clinic in Transilvania - Romania). He also said that he believes that he would have been better with the tumor instead of doing the surgery. The girls were patient, listened what he had to say and then told him that the tumor that he had is called glioblastome and that it is very aggressive and without surgery the life expectancy is of six weeks. Father was very surprised and he said: "that means I would have been dead for two weeks now..". My sisters then started to tell him how we translated his file, how we found contacts, how we sent all these info to all kind of specialists around the world. They told him that we did not want to tell him and to mom anything until we had facts and a plan. He was impressed by our team work, I guess we impressed him again. The first time he was really impressed was while in the hospital, he couldn't believe that we came up with a shift plan, and with all those details.. Dad is very difficult to impressed. Before this horrific experience, we never actually impressed him in any way. At least he never let that show, that's for sure..
Tomorrow my brother in law Bogdan - Roxana's husband, will drive them to Hungary for the first appointment with the doctor. We will see how it goes and then we will also get the exact amount of the treatment.
I still have butterflies in my stomach, and until I see his first reaction to the treatment I cannot be at peace.
God help us, I love you dad.
Tomorrow my brother in law Bogdan - Roxana's husband, will drive them to Hungary for the first appointment with the doctor. We will see how it goes and then we will also get the exact amount of the treatment.
I still have butterflies in my stomach, and until I see his first reaction to the treatment I cannot be at peace.
God help us, I love you dad.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Sending Me Angels
Sending Me Angels
(Jerry Lynn Williams/Frankie Miller)
I walked down to the river
Stood on the shore
Seems like the devil's always
Tryin' to get in my door
Just when I thought I couldn't
Take any more He keeps sending me angels
From up on high
He keeps sending me angels
To teach me to fly
He keeps sending me angels
Sweet and true He keeps sending me angels
Just like you As I stand on this mountain
Face to the wind
Amazed at the number of
Times we've all sinned
And the countless enemies
That should've been friends
Oh, here he comes again He keeps sending me angels
Here they come a flyin'
He keeps sending me angels
To keep me from cryin'
He keeps sending me angels
So I won't be blue
He keeps sending me angels
Just like you Some say that it's comin'
I say it's already here
The love that's among us
Through the joy and the fear
When I look into your eyes
Everything is so clear
My friend, here he comes again He keep sending me angels
From up on high
He keeps sending me angels
To teach me to fly
He keeps sending me angels
Sweet and true
He keeps sending me angels
Just like you
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